Gillman,

Actually, nearly every one of your requests can be achieved through the user preferences control panel - but not on this messageboard. If you're a member of vwvortex or thecarlounge.net, you'll see that you can enforce a manual override of the front size to whatever you like (I too like large text since I run 1600x1200 screen resolution) disable the display of avatars, disable the display of signatures, and disable smilies in posts too. Some boards even let you block the display of posts by certain users, which would achieve your goal of not having to read posts by people you don't like. I think you were being sarcastic, but the really high end messageboard software does everything you asked for already.