How have the Lexus RX 400h and the Highlander Hy performed in inclement weather (snow, ice, etc.?) How do they compare for safety?

My husband and I are shopping for a safe vehicle with AWD or 4WD to handle occasional snow and ice/sleet storms here in Maryland. Our current car does terribly in these conditions. We have a baby on the way and want to get a safe, reliable, kid-friendly vehicle with good gas mileage and low emmissions. We are looking at SUVs and wagons so we can transport larger items when needed (kid gear, home depot trips, etc.)

Other factors to consider - I like that I can get the HiHy without leather, however, compared to the Lexus, it has a lesser warranty, no power liftgate, no trailer hitch, 1 (versus4) power one-touch windows, single versus dual air conditioning zones, and no memorized seat settings

I think the HiHy has done slightly better in crash tests?? (HiHy 2006- all 5 stars) vs (Lexus 2004 - 4 stars for passenger) Also, with options added, the Lexus is 53k and the HiHy is 44k.

Thanks for your advice!