I actually felt the filter element I had was pretty well built. I mean its just the filter element. Usually all you get to see is the external tin can they build them in. However my father (a parts manager) has a display with alot of them cut in half. Some of the aftermarket ones are like tissue paper.

Also... The oil passes through the filter, so they are all saturated with oil after use. I think what you mean is that the element feels soft and mushy. However as long as its intact the oil still has to pass through it. If you think about it, its kind of counter intuitive. Thicker filters will impede oil flow, thinner ones will allow more through (along with more damaging particles). As the filter gets dirty the pores will fill up impeding oil flow, and actually retarding the amount of dirt going through it. So in one way the oil filter in some ways actually cleans the oil better of particles as it gets older (but because it allows less oil through you have to change it before that restriction becomes too great).

I'm not sure if car oil filters are set up so that if the filter gets really plugged the oil starts to pass by the filter (and be unfiltered).